The Things That Aren't Humanly Possible
by Jay.Rawr
Summary: Seducing Neji Hyuuga is like seducing a fat, lazy pig. All the pig wants to do is be fat and lazy so it basically needs nothing but the lifestyle of being fat and lazy! That is so Neji. Well, sorta. Anyway, this is a (stupid) dare, bet, whatever it is. So I'm getting in his pants!


Only Ino Yamanaka could come up with crap like this...  
**  
****_Four hours ago..._**

I was putting the finishing touches to my makeup before heading out to a new club with Ino. Ino decided it couldn't hurt to check it out, so I agreed to tag along with Tenten who thought the same as me. I dressed most simple (and dull, Ino would add), only donning a white T-shirt and black nice fitting Jounin pants. I decided that a little makeup couldn't hurt. Hey ladies, I'm not much of a girly girl as I used to be, don't attack me with your gasps!

_Ding-Dong!_

It must be Ino and Tenten. I (for no apparent reason) rushed downstairs to greet my friends. But as I opened the door, I saw foot-tapping and two frowns.

"Aren't you ready yet?!" Ino was the first to ask. I wanted to laugh and ask if this was a joke. Do I not look ready?

"Yes I am you dimwit" I eyed Tenten while saying this because a little giggle escaped her lips. Oh, that rhymes. Anyway, back to the story.

"Sakura, honey, we're going to a_ club_. Not a café or training grounds, what do you honestly think you're doing wearing that to a _club_? Hot guys, throat burning drinks, dancing, and more hot guys _do not_ go with those clothes Haruno!" I stared at Ino unbelievably. Is she serious? What's wrong with my choice of clothing? I THINK I LOOK PRETTY DAMN FINE!

"I have to agree with her Sak, you won't get much attention just being simple" Tenten said, much to my disappointment. Are you serious Tenten?! You side with the fashion devil?!

"Outfit change, turn around, NOW!" Before I could retaliate, Ino turned me around and pushed me forward. Ugh, is it that serious?!

"Now, let's look through this big closet of yours!" Ino clapped her hands with a smile. She grabbed Tenten by the wrists and pulled her into my walk-in closet. I followed behind.

"No...no...no...you really own this? Garbage...no...dreadful...no...my lord Sakura, this is sad" Ino grabbed a pale orange long dress decorated with white polka dots and a darker orange strap around the waist that had a picture at the center that looked like a cat. Hey, grandma got it for me.

"This is social suicide; I mean it's so childish, so gross, and so...ugly! And you're what, twenty-three? Shameful" Ino threw it on the floor.

"Hurry up guys! Naruto is fucking my inbox with shitload of messages for where we are!" Tenten called from her seat on a chair.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Just wait!"

After several more minutes of mumbled "no"'s, Ino was about to give up.

"You and me are going to go on an emergency shopping trip Sakura, because this is now concerning..."

"Oh shut up"

"He-Oh!" Ino pulled out a creamy coloured halter top. Memories started kicking in of the time I got that from Tsunade as a belated birthday gift. I never got to wear it, not that I mind or care.

"Where you got this beauty?" Ino mused as she examines the top. I rolled my eyes.

"Tsunade"

"We'll you're wearing this, no complaints!" I guess it can't be that bad...

Ino resumed back to searching, but this time for a bottom. I slip on the cream top, hoping it didn't fit. I want to have the satisfaction of leaving in the outfit I am in, so these bitches could be weeping in failure.

"Wear this! It's the best you have!" Ino threw me a black skirt, another thing I forgot I owned. Hehe, at least the skirt was my taste.

"And oh, _Sa-ku-raaaaaa_" Ino sang as she danced her way closer to me. I gave her a suspicious look, to which she grinned devilishly to.

"Thought you could hide these bad boys from me?!" Ino then shoved a pair of black heels in my face. Oh. Fucking. Shit. WHY TSUNADE?! Fucking. Why. I hate heels. I tried them and all they do is hurt my feet, I feel like I might twist my feet or fall at any giving second, and basically, I just want to murder the shoe and its creator.

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ino crackled like a madwoman. Tenten looked up from her phone to eye her while I myself had an urge to step away from her. She _so_ needs some psychiatric help.

"Well anyway..." I mumbled halfheartedly to myself. I grabbed the shiny, dark coloured heels from Ino hands and left to go change. Victory will never be mine *insert fake sob here*...

But I must admit, when I had the outfit on, it looked quite decent. Actually, it was decent enough for me to want to wear again. Though, the skirt is a bit tight fitting. I probably owned it for two years, who knows? Hehe...

I walked out of my bathroom. All I heard was fake gasps from the two females.

"You have _curves_!" Ino pointed an accusing finger at my body. I blushed immensely at the insulting comment.

"Of course I do!" I glowered, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Well don't blame me when you always wear those baggy clothes!"

"Fuck off Ino"

"We could all argue with each other at the club now c'mon, let's go!" Tenten rushed, getting ready to kick both our asses out the door. Jeez, swallow a pill Tenny.

"No, no, it's missing something..." Ino eyed my whole look with a fake sophisticated look. I face palmed myself. Does she take my dressing this seriously? Just as I was about to go with Tenten to just leave the woman, she shoved a black leather jacket in my face.

"Take it" she muttered then stomped angrily away to the door. To say I was surprised would have been somewhere near an understatement. Ino...is giving me **_HER_** clothes? Haha, this must be hell for her.

"Thanks" I beamed cheerfully, slipping on the warm and cozy jacket. Ino must hate this. If there's one thing she loves, it's her clothes.

Then out the door we went.

The club felt like a thousand miles, when it really wasn't all that far. Maybe out of laziness I thought it was too far? Or…am I getting fat?! *gasp*

It was quite chilly outside (thank you Ino for the jacket!) while we were waiting on line. I could feel the goose bumps pop out of my skin like ripe pimples. Ugh, how unattractive.

Since this place is pretty much new, we didn't have to pay, just show ID to prove we're legal. Once we got in, I was instantly warmed up. More than enough people were inside, on the dance floor. Flashing lights of many colours made up the big dance floor, at the tables and chairs on another side was dark brown and nicely decorated. At a side not so far from the tables was where the drinks were held and a bartender talking (or flirting) with a busty blonde woman. Just a matter of time before this club starts rocketing out of control, not that anyone would care.

"Finally!" A familiar, annoyingly manly voice shouted from my left. I looked and there was Naruto, behind him was a muttering Shikamaru. Kiba was loudly talking to some girl, Neji held an irritated expression as Lee's (WHY?!) arm was around his shoulders, some horrid musical tune could faintly be heard from the green clad boy. They were all sitting, cups of some liquid I figure is sake or something like that, in front of them.

Ino walked over to the bartender, a flirtatious smile grace her lips at the man. Okay, I admit, he was pretty damn hot! His silvery hair is something coming out of a sexy men magazine! Oh and his face? Oh no no, don't get me started. Although this dude is smoking, he is double my age. Ino is just a year older than me, what is she doing talking to sexy old guys?!

"Kakashi, is it? Well, I'd like a cup of tequila, another of Chardonnay and Santa Margarita please" Ino ordered. The man nodded with a hidden smirk, then went to fetch the desired drinks. I never actually tried Chardonnay, but I didn't want anything with heavy alcohol. But knowing Ino, there probably is more than enough alcohol in. Hopefully not, but Ino will probably insist I take shots –which will turn into top-filled bottles– of some kind of liquor.

Once the drink stopped in front of Ino, she drank it down empty with ease. "Alright now forehead! I have a…little game you might want to be a part of! You're in Tenten?"

Tenten, who was silently sipping her drink, looked up for only a spare second to give the other girl a nod before looking around the club.

"Alright warthog, what's the game?" Which I doubt is one.

A mischievous smirk graced Ino's pink lips. Oh no, nothing good come out of her smirks!

"We all aren't virgins right? Whoever gets one of the boys to whomever home for a night of..._fun_ will get-" Ino pulled out two nice, crisp twenties. "These babies. First come, first serve."

Tenten's head immediately turned around, her hands in her pocket, pulling out two twenties of her own.

"Oh, and for proof, I'd say we wear our chosen boy shirt, underwear, or something the following day" Tenten giggled, but continued. "Ya know, for proof."

"Sounds great! So you two girls in?!" Ino grin went wider. Okay, I'm feeling weirder.

"Oh yes!" Tenten smirked, and then blue and brown orbs stared at me.

"I guess it can't be that bad..." I went in my pocket to take out two twenties of my own. Well at least I have a chance to win eighty dollars. Now I have to limit my options.

I so can't do Naruto. That's like incest. Lee is automatically crossed off because…that's like making my worst nightmare come to life. Shikamaru wouldn't have been bad, but I rather not suffer the wrath of Temari. Kiba…well I admit, he's kinda cute but I barely know him, who knows if he's a man-slut or secretly carrying something, well, God forbid. So all that leaves is...oh no, Hyuuga?! I might as well give up now. I think he's asexual, hopefully not. Maybe he's...gay?!

For a split second, a look of horror overtook my face. But I wouldn't hold my breath if he happen to go for the same team. Hehe…

"I choose Neji" I spoke up.

"Kiba" Tenten chirped.

"Shikamaru" Ino smirked.

"Uh, Temari? Remember she has a big as hell crush on him?" I reminded Ino.

"So? Who said I liked her?"

"Oh yeah..." It's a long story.

"We start now! Go" then Ino pushed me and Tenten near the boys table. Ah, let the horror begin.

* * *

"Hi Sakura-chan!" Naruto smiled brightly.

"Hi Naruto..." I said less lively, giving him a small smile before casually taking a seat near Neji. He managed to peel away from Lee and his ear-raping singing.

I let my eyes look at him for a moment, trying to look as nonchalant and casual as possible. Really though, I'm a nervous as hell.

"So Neji-san"

He raised an eyebrow. It's not every day a stranger (for the most part) is acting like friends with another stranger. I rested my head on the center of my palm. I could feel a tug at the corner of my lips going upward. "What made you come here?"

Neji looked me up and down for a fraction of a second before taking a sip from his cup and looking elsewhere. "A lot of...persuasion from Naruto and Lee."

"Egh, I figured they'd have something to do with it, well, at least Naruto..."

"Hm…don't he always..."

"Point made" I went from Neji's face to his clothes. He donned a short-sleeve navy blue shirt and black pants. Oh? So he knows other colours than just strictly beige and black? How wonderful.

"You look good" Neji eyes quickly turned to me. I gave me a nice smile.

"What did you say?" He asked, his eyebrows slowly pulling down. That made me frown a bit on the inside.

"I said you look good" I repeated. Neji nodded very slowly, then mumbled almost inaudibly,

"Thanks..."

That was enough of a boost to make me ask my question.

"Wanna dance?"

"I do not like participating in such activities, thank you" way to be a party pooper Neji.

"Oh c'mon, stop being an unhappy camper!" I took his hand and pulled. He shot me a sour glare.

"I said no Haruno"

"Please?" I pouted, batted my lashes, and then gently squeezed his hand.

"Adorable looks won't persuade me"

It was worth a try...well it's about time to kick it up a notch.

I took a nice, comfy seat on one of Neji's leg, not enough to be considered fully sitting on his lap, and then I wrapped an arm around his neck. He stiffened visibly at the contact. I smiled innocently at him.

"Or I could always make myself comfortable" Oh yeah, turn me down now Hyuuga!

"Haruno..." Neji hissed warningly.

"Hyuuga" I singed, my smile widening.

He sighed. "Make sure it's one dance."

"Of course!" I cheered then jumped up, clapping my hands in joy. Look out eighty bucks! Here I fucking come!

I grabbed the miserable Neji hand, and then pulled him onto the colourful dance floor.

"I do not like engaging in this particular activity Haruno" the man hissed.

"Translation, you don't know how to dance?"

"..." I take that as a yes.

_*• Normal P.O.V •*_

"It's easy, just follow my lead" then Sakura pulled Neji close, then began swaying to the beat. Neji eyes observed the way other males danced, and then he followed what they did, much to his dismay.

"Now you're learning tiger!" Sakura smirked, and then continue to let the music consume her. Neji had to admit, this dancing thing was getting pleasurable. _You have manners and self control Neji, control yourself. No matter how tempting she is..._

The dancing went on, sensually. Before the Hyuuga could do any rash moves, he moved away from the pinkette.

"One dance..." He mumbled then walked back towards the table. Sakura frowned, silently cursing the man before following him. She is _so_ not giving up though.

"Such a party pooper, I swear!" Sakura pouted, trying to make her features look as adorable as possible, then shot a ferocious glare at the female who was eyeing Neji a bit too long. She took a seat beside Neji, her glare never wavering, as she tried to let the girl clearly know 'this-man-is-mine'.

"AND SHE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW!" Lee danced with hearts in his eyes as he made his way to the two. Sakura knew a vein must've popped on her forehead.

"It looks like Lee is too drunk. I'm sorry-"

"No!" Sakura wanted to slap herself for her outburst. "I mean, Shikamaru is still sober, he could do it. Don't ruin your fun!" Sakura rubbed the back of her neck. "Besides, Shikamaru doesn't even want to be here! " _Way to go Haruno…_

Neji gave her a suspicious look but stayed put. "Hn..."

"Uh, what may I get you?" A waitress asked with a halfhearted smile, but shot a rather sexually suggestive grin towards Neji.

"A _bottle_ of Jack Daniels please! Oh, and shrimp with sauce, I want a lot of it!" She needed a boost, and a bottle of that was perfect. And she could use the shrimp to try and arouse Neji.

"Sakura-san, are you sure?" A tiny, almost undetectable lace of worry followed in his voice.

"Me? I'd be fine! Don't worry!" Sakura assured him then scurried off the waitress.

For five minutes, nothing was said, and Sakura could honestly figure out that nothing was gonna happen. But she's not giving up, not just yet.

"Here you go, your drink might come late since we ran out, sorry for the inconvenience."

Sakura nodded, barely giving the waitress a glance.

Sakura took one quick glance at Neji, noticing he was silently watching her out the corner of his eye. She mentally grinned.

Sakura picked up one sauced up shrimp, then put it in her mouth. She felt weird doing her next actions, but it was necessary to gain Neji's attention. She sucked lightly, savoring the sauce taste as she slowly bit into the shrimp, then plucked the tail out of her mouth.

"Are you trying to make love to your food?"

She never felt more like Hinata.

"What– no!" Sakura fumed, and then looked away in utter embarrassment.

After another minute, Sakura decided to resume her attempts. She put one leg over the other, and then turned to put her attention on something. She made sure she gave him an eye-catching view of her legs.

Neji looked at the same legs that seem to be too long and smooth for its own good. Was she doing this on purpose?

Sakura was really getting aggravated. All her attempts are ending in failure! Maybe she should have chose Kiba…she might as have fun though if she already gives up. Hehe.

"So Neji…there's something I've been dying to ask ya"

"Here you go. Again, I'm sorry for the lateness" the same waitress came with a cold bottle of Jack Daniels. Sakura nodded at the girl, then popped open the top and took a good chug.

"And what's that?" Neji asked uninterestedly, eyes looking at the scantily clad women and drunken retards for men dancing around too inappropriately for his taste.

Sakura leaned in a bit, her whole face turned serious.

"Be honest…" She took another swing of her drink.

"Are...you gay?"

That made Neji's head wiped right around to shoot the girl a vicious glare.

"Am…I…gay?" He said slowly and too menacingly low. It was enough to send little shockwaves of fear through Sakura's system.

"I guess it'll forever be a mystery…" Sakura cooed then got up to leave. She slowly walked towards the exit, winked at Ino, then left. She knew she angered Neji to no return. She hopes she's not that much deeply screwed.

The cool air made Sakura slightly shiver. She clung onto the leather jacket more. But as soon as she took five steps, Sakura was being pressed against a wall and looking into the eyes of a pale-eyed Neji Hyuuga.

"N-Neji?!"

"So you think I'm gay, hm?"

"Well, no– ye- I don't know? Ugh, well, it certainly seems possible!" Sakura could feel her cheeks redden in embarrassment.

"Well please Sakura, tell me if this marks me gay," then Neji attacked her mouth. Neji...Neji was kissing her. Okay brain, process the information right.

Neji tongue touched Sakura's bottom lip, and she happily opened up for him. He wasn't gentle, no; he was rather demanding and fierce. But it only turned Sakura on more. She was so used to being in control; she didn't know how it felt to be taken over. It felt downright amazing. And…oh my God, his tongue!

When air was becoming important, Neji reluctantly pulled away.

"Okay, okay, you're _definitely_ not gay..." Sakura panted. Neji smirked. "But now I'm wondering if you read Kakashi's porn books, because that was too good to be true."

"Don't find yourself in a less pleasurable predicament."

"Okay!" Sakura squeaked. "Well…I-"

"Where do you think you're going? I'm not done with you"

"Wait-what?"

Then Neji poof'd them away from their spot.

Oh yeah, Ino-pig totally owes her eighty bucks.


End file.
